


The Ultimate Plan

by Beathen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beathen/pseuds/Beathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our two favorite boys join forces to bring down Voldemort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ultimate Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal on January 14th, 2006. I own nothing - it all belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Harry:** Voldemort is evil!  
 **Hermione:** duh!  
 **Lupin:** duh!  
 **Ron:** huh...what...oh, yeah...duh!  
 **Harry:** I have a plan!  
 **Hermione:** your plans suck!  
 **Harry:** do not  
 **Hermione:** do so  
 **Harry:** not  
 **Hermione:** so  
 **Snape:** shut it, idiots. I have a plan.  
 **Ron:** *gags* but you're evil!  
 **Snape:** *rolls eyes*  
 **Hermione:** he's saved Harry loads of times!  
 **Snape:** *smirk*  
 **Harry:** *sputters*  
 **Hermione:** What's the plan?  
 **Snape:** Potter and I will kill him with our everlasting love!  
 **Harry:** *chokes* Everlasting what?!  
 **Snape:** *eyebrow* What do you think all these smirks and eyebrow raises are for?  
 **Ron:** that's disgusting  
 **Lupin:** I agree.  
 **Hermione:** well - it's the power the Dark Lord knows not. Go for it!  
 **Harry:** traitor

later - Snape, Harry, Lupin, Ron & Hermione facing Voldemort in the final showdown

**Snape:** (to Voldemort) evil bastard - I tricked you! I'm on the side of Light!  
 **Voldemort:** the side of what?  
 **Snape:** read my lips - L-I-G-H-T  
 **Voldemort:** *evil laugh* uh-huh. okay. I'll be killing you soon. But first...monologue!  
 **Everyone else:** *groans*  
 **Hermione:** *whispers* I _hate_ it when he does this!  
 **Voldemort:** shut up and listen to my long and glorious tale of how I will finally finish off the Boy-Who-Lived.... Once upon a time...  
 **Harry:** that's all I can take! My turn!  
 **Everyone else:** *groans*  
 **Harry:** Love will keel you! The love Snape and I share is so pure! Well, I'm not anymore thanks to the greasy git, but...  
 **Ron:** ewwww!  
 **Snape:** *steps up to Harry* We'll give you proof...  
 **Snape & Harry:** *snogs*  
 **Voldemort:** my eyes! my eyes! *gouges out eyes and bleeds to death*  
 **Wizarding World:** *rejoices at Voldemorts downfall*  
 **Ron/Lupin/Hermione:** *run out of Riddle Manor screaming to retch on the lawn*  
 **Harry:** make love to me Snape. Sweet, sweet love!  
 **Snape:** Oh my dearest Harry. There's no one else like you!  
 **Snape & Harry:** *snogs*  
 **Snape & Harry:** *snogs more*  
 **Snape & Harry:** *snogs even more*  
 **beathen:** Get on with the sex you two!  
 **Snape & Harry:** yes, ma'am! *tumble to the ground to make love*  
 **Snape:** best keep this part of the proceedings out of the history books!  
 **Harry:** *nods* JK Rowling would have our hides if she ever found out!  
 **beathen:** ROTFLMAO!

~~The End~~


End file.
